When I started my undergraduate degree I was nervous, but determined. A few days off turning 25 I wasn’t bothered about Fresher’s Fairs or socialising (not my best skill) and was excited to get started with studying, finally. I was also only a few weeks away from getting married, and so that took away some of the nerves as I was pretty busy hand painting apples gold and trying to work out a dietary needs chart so I didn’t poison or kill any of our guests.
Now three years have flown by and I’ve finished the degree, got married, bought a house, and had a baby. Why do things in a sensible order when you can just do EVERYTHING all at once?
In some ways going into postgrad study feels like the first part of real adult life. Mostly that’s because I now have to factor in child care for Ivy into what I do, and so the biggest worry I have about starting an MA at the moment is how I’m going to organise attending seminars with being able to enjoy studying around my new job. Yes, new job, do everything at once again.
I’m worried that the need to work and pay bills with a little more urgency than the average student – if there is such a thing – is going to mean I can’t participate as much in extra curricular stuff.
But then every time I think that I remind myself that I managed my degree while working a part-time job with similar hours to my new one, as well as two other casual jobs. And then I remind myself that now I have a child and I can’t just fling myself at things and hope that I can cope with them. I think anyone would struggle to balance it all, let alone someone like me with far less than the normal amount of physical and mental energy reserves. And then I go back around in a circle until I stop myself and think fuck it, I’ll make it work the best way I can. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine the meaning of success.
… And try not to cock it up.